Couples come into therapy when they have not been able to resolve their own relationship problems and often have a different view of how the difficulties have been created. Sometimes couples are trying to keep things the same with one partner resisting changes, or one partner thinking the other partner is at fault and needs to change. Whatever brings the couple into therapy it is important to recognise that the therapy focus is on the relationship which has been co-created, thus each partner is part of the problem.
“The first duty of love is to listen”
Couple therapy needs a commitment to look at how each partner is relating to the other. Often there is a power struggle in relationships and rather than celebrate our differences we want the other to be the same. This can lead to partners needing to be right or competitive. Assumptions can be made on what the other is thinking and feeling and missing the true communication of the other.
In couples therapy the focus is on how you are relating.
The aim of therapy is to explore experientially how the relationship is being co-created by each partner. Working together and developing awareness in the safety of a therapeutic space can be challenging but rewarding. Couple therapy involves a commitment to staying open to the other and becoming more aware of our fixed and often repeating patterns of relating. We can work together helping each person to feel heard by the other and to relate to each other more effectively.